It is a
special kind of grief
To watch
your home suffering from
Afar
I haven’t
thought of Wuhan as home in a long time, don’t feel like I can claim it
as mine
I was born
there, yes
But I have
lived there for less than 10% of my life
And yet,
now, particularly,
I feel the
way the blood of family, and history tie me irrevocably to that
City of 11
million people
So I want to
name that it
hurts
hearing about the coronavirus in China
Seeing
videos of the streets so bare when I know what they are supposed to look like
That is
where I'm from
The city
where I'm from
Its name
stamped as "birthplace" on my Canadian passport
A piece of
my Chinese identity I have not been forced to lose
I need to
share about how I feel a double, maybe triple burden
Not only do
I need to be concerned for myself and my family, many of whom are so much
closer in proximity to the outbreak than here in Canada
And also,
stigma
The fear
mongering, and victim-blaming, and xenophobic racism
That is this
time pointedly directed at me
The: callous
they deserve it, and they are disgusting, and why were they
allowed to come?
That make
hashtags like “#Chinesearepeopletoo” necessary
How somehow,
now,
it makes
sense for 11 million people and who knows how many more diaspora to be painted
with one critical brush
I know you
are afraid
For yourselves
and your family
I am asking
you to
have
compassion for
mine
And of
course some people behaved irresponsibly
But most are
just regular folk, doing the best with what they know, trying to get home
To see their
family
For many
they can
only do that this time of year – lunar new year
Reunite with
big festivities for the biggest celebration of our people
But this holiday
There are
quiet spaces where joy should be
Empty homes
that should have been full to the brim
celebration
taken by virus
And there’s
also the way
That for
many, this virus is all you know of the place I am from
How painful
How mundane
Because how
could there be a way for us to know something about every place
But maybe that’s
not how it
needs to be
Maybe when
we see tragedy we should also remember that this is not all there is
That Wuhan
is more than the coronavirus
We are a
meeting place of north and south
Often talked
about as having some of the best food in China
Dumplings
and noodles from the north and sweet white rice from the south all congregate
here
How we built
a bigger, better subway system than Toronto’s in 4 years
How the very
first bullet train in the country was from Wuhan Zhan
So can we
please stop always painting China in such a negative light
6 days to
build a hospital is “authoritarian” right?
Not
innovative, or courageous, or wow that’s leadership,
Like we’d
say if this was in Canada
Like Canada
could ever pull that off
Can we not say,
hey, how
extraordinary
that millions of people are taking it as seriously as it should be
Good
naturedly doing their part and putting their lives on pause
to stop the
spread
Because
again it’s people, living their lives, just trying to get by
And not
everything you’re not used to is crude
You’re used
to plenty that Chinese people would never do
And yes the
government has done terrible things, but that information is often presented from
the eyes of a racist lens
And besides it’s
not fair to only talk about the bad
Villainize
until you no longer empathize with the people because of the government
Villainize
until you no longer empathize because of propaganda
Erasing
history so it seems like a bigger crime to try to go see family
Than conquest
deliberately infecting Indigenous peoples with smallpox
We are
people
We shouldn’t
have to be perfect to be treated with humanity
I don’t have
to prove my
lovability,
my humanity, my just-like-you ness to
Get your
approval to let me exist
We don’t
need to be perfect
don’t have
to earn basic human decency
it’s what everyone
deserves
The outbreak
hit us this time
But we are
breaking out of the boxes your racism puts us in
I never post
my poetry to my blog, but this has been on my heart for many days now. It hurts
hearing about the suffering in China and around the world, and that's exacerbated by all the racist things people are saying. So I wanted this out there, now, to
stand in contrast and stand against the racism that people are spewing. Times like this it’s more important than
ever to remember history, but perhaps most of all: we are people, we deserve compassion.
